Taking Your Children to the Movies. What Age is the Right Age?

Children love to watch movies. Many of my fondest childhood memories are with my parent in a theater watching the new Disney movies. When you have the time off from your busy school schedule or accounting career, you really want to do something fun that you know your kids will remember. The only problem is that no one wants to the be the parent in the back with the unruly child. What age is the right age for their first real movie experience?

I have had many friends that tried to attend a movie with their kids and it scarred them for years. It's hard to know if your children are ready to sit still and enjoy a cinematic experience, but here are a few clues to help determine their readiness.

1. Will your child watch an entire movie at home. If a child will not watch a movie at home, they will be driving you crazy. Movie theaters are full of other people to investigate. Until you child can give a movie at home their full attention, you might want to wait on taking them out.

2. Is your child vocal during movies at home. If you child is excited and vocal during movies at home, they will be loud at the movies as well. Being that silence is a virtue in a theater, you might want to work with your child on not talking at home before trying the theater.

3. Is your child comfortable around strangers. Most kids are not concerned by strangers, but there are a few that are caught off guard by unfamiliar faces. For instance, my younger son saw a man in a restaurant that frightened him for some reason. He proceeded to scream until the man was no longer in sight. Though my son is an extreme  case, it is possible that other people in the room may cause a child to be uncomfortable.

In most cases, children are able to watch a movie contently in public at around three years of age. Of course, it doesn't hurt to bribe them a bit with concessions. Another factor is your personal sensitivity to distractions in a theater. If you are concerned how your child will fair, try attending a daytime showing of a children's film. They are usually less crowded and full of other sympathetic parents. If your first movies isn't a home run, be patient with your child. They're nervous too. Hopefully soon, your family will be enjoying many bonding moments over popcorn and a great movie.

Television and Our Children

Our children are our world. We want to do what is best for them every chance we get. It's very hard in our ever changing world to understand how the increase in technology is affecting them. Most current parents grew up watching television. Allowing your children to watch Sponge Bob Square-pants while you finish up your application for a nursing scholarship is a harmless decision. The question is how long is too long for your children to be entertained by Nickolodeon or web browsing and what affects does television watching have them?

Now a days it is a common occurrence for a child to arrive home and sit on their coach watching show after show until dinner time. Most families will not eat a meal without the television on. Studies have suggested that children over three be allowed to watch no more than 3 hours of television per day. Children under two should be prohibited from watching. The average child watches an excess of four hours of programming per day. I know that I have been guilty of using the television as a baby sitter once or twice when I have house work or special projects that need to be attended to.  The occasional lean on technology is of minimal concern, but what are the long term affects of TV watching on young people?

Many different scientific studies have been done on the possible affects of excessive television watching. Children's programming has becoming increasing educational. This influx in beneficial shows has lowered our guards in regard to all television. Many children's programs still display violence and sexual behavior. Children mimic what they watch. Though there has been no definitive data, many scientists believe that television could contribute to ADD. Another concern that behavioral scientists  have expressed is the amount of commercials that kids watch. On average, children watch more than 20,000 thirty second commercials per year. Many of these commercials are for beer, cigarettes, and junk food. Children are highly susceptible to suggestion. The main physical affects of television are linked to inactivity. By watching shows children are remaining indoors instead of getting up and playing sports or exercising. Inactive children are more likely to snack while entertaining themselves. This trend could lead to childhood obesity.

I'm in no way saying that television is evil. I personally enjoy sitting down with my children and watching a movie, or watching them learn their ABC's with Sesame Street. What I am trying to say is that like anything else in their lives, television should be moderated. As parents, it's our job to monitor our children's viewing. It's not easy to change our habits, but it doesn't have to be negative. Try encouraging your child to find a hobby or sport. A hobby can be both intellectually stimulating and fun. If you would like more information on moderating your child's television viewing the following link is excellent: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/managetv.htm.

Is It Okay to Allow Your Child to Sleep in Your Bed?

In our current society, both parents are almost required to work to support their family. Long gone are the years when a father could work one full time job and support a family of five. It's very difficult in our busy lives to spend enough time with our children. It's easy to allow our work schedule and paralegal certification classes to interfere with our family time. In our attempts to spend that much needed quality time, it's easy to allow our children to cuddle and sleep in bed with us. Now I'm not talking about the occasional nightmare, I mean allowing your children in your bed at least once a week. What are the benefits or consequences of this type of interaction? Is this time harming or helping your child?

Allowing your children to sleep in the bed with you has many benefits. In most cases children have their own beds but occasionally sleep with their parents. We often use this time as a means of bonding. When children are infants we often allow them in our beds to give them the skin to skin contact that babies crave. The truth is, as humans grow they continue to need that contact. With our more hectic lives we often loose sight of that need. We think that bathing our children, eating dinner together, or watching a favor television show together serves as this bonding time. The truth is no interaction or activity can replace good old fashion cuddling. Children need to cuddle for emotional reassurance. Physical love is a concept that we all crave. We want the hug and snuggle that tells us we are cared for. Our children need it more than adults. By allowing your child in your bed you are giving them a night of one on one contact.

On the other hand allowing your child to sleep with you too frequently can be detrimental. Children who sleep with their parents more than once a week are more likely to develop separation anxiety. Children must learn to sleep alone in their own rooms. As they grow older, kids will be required to spend more time alone. Introducing a child to their own bed and room aids in this development. Humans are naturally inclined to crave contact. We must train ourselves to be secure in the absence of interaction. By allowing your child to sleep in their own space you are aiding them in that training. This will also intern boost their independence and self-esteem.

Allowing your children in your bed can also affect your love life. The more frequently your children sleep with you, the more interference you will have. My children slept with me as babies and then moved in to their own room. Even though they were infants and had no idea what mommy and daddy were doing, it made me uncomfortable to be intimate with them present. The lack of intimacy put a great deal of strain on my marriage. Now they try to sleep with us as often as possible, but for daddy's sake I try to soothe them and place them in their own beds most of the time. Our love lives typically suffer from over working and stress as well, so to add a child that is accustomed to sharing your bed to the mix could be a disaster.

The key to this conundrum is "Everything in moderation". Keep your situation fluid. It's okay when the kids are sick to let them sleep with you for three nights in a row. It's also okay to say no and walk them back across the hall, when you and your significant other would like to have some alone time. Try to keep the bed sharing to less than once a week to prevent a fuss from the little ones. Also by keeping the mommy's room sleep overs sporadic, they will remain special. You want to avoid allowing your child to get in the routine of sharing your bed. Balancing life and family is never easy, but having special bonding moments with your babies is a great way to remind yourself why you do it.  

Bringing Home a New Pet When You Have Children

I tend to write about my current experiences. I like to elaborate on current problems that I maybe having and discuss them so that my successes and failures may help others. Recently, I added a shih tzu puppy to my family. Being a pet person at heart I wanted to have a little furry pal to snuggle with while working or watching a movie. Having three children and a home to manage keeps me fairly busy as it is. If you are like me, and despite your busy case load from Florida Tech Online and your family, you still would like to add a four-legged friend to your household, then here is some advice for a smooth introduction.

Tip 1: Choose your pet wisely.
 This may seem like a no brainer, but it's easy to get caught up in the cute faces and needy eyes and forget what you are capable of handling. For instance, it's easy to fall in love with the gentle eyes of a Great Dane, but not easy to keep them in an apartment. Before pet hunting, make a list (both you and your partner) of desired traits. This will help keep you on track.

Tip 2: Be careful when adopting.
This maybe a controversial tip to some people, but with young children especially adopting an adult dog can be dangerous. If you are a single person, adopting is wonderful for you and the animal. When you have children, however, you can never be too careful. You have no way of knowing exactly what that dog has been subjected to. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Tip 3: Beware of breeders.
In many cases when adopting or purchasing a dog money is an issue. It's human nature to try and find a deal or just a reasonable price on everything including pets. The truth is you get what you pay for. There are many people out there irresponsibly breeding animals to make a buck. If at all possible go to the person's home and meet the parents. You can usually tell what kind of person you are dealing with just by seeing their home.

Tip 4: It's okay to say no.
In the event that you are adopting or purchasing from a home, never meet the person with the intention of taking that animal home. Never allow yourself to be pressured in to taking an animal home with you that you are not in love with. Caring for a pet is a life long commitment. It's okay to visit a pet and not take it home.


Tip 7: Never buy a pet as a present.
This tip main seem odd, but allow me to clarify. Buying a pet for a birthday present or Christmas present is not a good idea. If you would like to give a loved one a pet, I would recommend having them assist you in the adoption process. Owning a pet is a very personal commitment. You would not marry a person that you just met because they are cute. Holidays and birthdays are also very busy times and pets can be neglected. It's best to add a new addition when your home is calm and as uncomplicated as possible.


Tip 5: Introduce the animal slowly.
Once you've made your decision it's time to bring your new fur baby home and introduce them to your family. When dealing with children, it's best to introduce the animal gradually. Remember, this transition is going to be extremely stressful on your new pet. Be sure that you give them the space to calm down and be alone. It's easy during such an exciting time, to give your new animal too much attention.

Tip 6: Create a quiet area for your new pet.
It's important for your four-legged friend to feel secure. When dealing with a cat, allow them to find a quiet place under a piece of furniture or in a closet where they can retreat. When introducing a dog or puppy, a crate can be helpful.

Making the decision to add an animal to your family is exciting. It brings with it the possibility of a life long relationship with a new family member. Following these simple tips will make this transition easier, and more enjoyable. A pet is an important friend for your children and can help them learn responsibility. If they are old enough, allow them to help you in the decision making process as well as the training. This participation with strengthen the family bond.