Making Friends When Your Life is Insane

The truth is, making friends is never easy. It wasn't easy when you were in school. High school was a nightmare, and making friends as an adult is no easier. Add to this dilemma a family that requires your time and attention, a job, and college courses and it's almost impossible. When you have a family, trying to make friends becomes like dating, but you're not just looking for your own compatibility you have to think about your children and significant other as well. It's incredibly stressful. I know I felt like a lost cause. Sure, you may meet a few people with similar interests in your nursing programs, but it's typically slim pickings.

Why bother trying to make friends? This is always my husband's question. He thinks that he and the children should be enough of a social life. I think it's different for men. They don't seem to understand the need for girl time or chick flicks. Friends serve a very important purpose for a woman, they help us maintain our sanity. Our friends act as our counselor, therapist, conscience, confidant, and partners in crime.  Despite my husband and me being very close, he still remains as a large portion of my day to day frustration. Though it is important to be honest with your spouse or significant other, it is still very nice to get a female opinion on the situation. As I'm sure you know, when your life is a whirlwind of crazy, it's easy to over exaggerate a situation and with a friend to help calm your nerves you're less likely to blow up at your spouse. Needless to say, when you're lacking in the friend department it can make the rest of your life more than a little rocky.

There are many ways of trying to make friends as a mother, a wife, a student, and a woman. Not all of these methods are worth the effort. Through my own experience I have learned which means of friend making are effective and which are not. I am going to let you in on my findings.

1. Posting on Craigslist or Other Classified sites.
This has to be one of the least effective methods of making friends. If you are the one posting the add, you receive more responses with junk mail attached than actual people. Posting on a classified site seems a bit desperate and you're more likely to have weirdos answer than people who are actually interested in becoming friends. From my experience, after the initial email chat further communication seems awkward. I met one woman that I really got along with through text messages, but when we got together to meet it was incredibly strange. It was like meeting with a stranger even though we had been talking for weeks.

2. Attending Mom Groups in Your Area.
Mom groups are a good idea, but it seems they are more about quantity instead of quality. I have attended several different types of mom groups and each group I attended had a cliquey vibe. They were all fairly nice, but I didn't get a chance to connect with any of the moms on a personal level. There were a great deal of children that required supervision, and actually sitting down and talking was out of the questions. The groups I tried met more frequently than I could attend. I felt when I missed a session, I misses out on jokes and interaction that put me further out of the loop. I made a few friendships from these groups, but they were short lived.

3. Luck of the Draw.
One of my more successful endeavors has been taking my children to the park and watching to see who they get along with.  Striking up a conversation with the parent is easy when your children are having a blast. The hardest part of this option is the phone number exchange. You can do one of two things: try to arrange to come back to the park another day to spend more time together, or suck it up and give them your info. Just like dating, there is a chance of rejection. However, most busy parents are going through the same thing. I have met several of my current friends this way.

4. Extra-curricular Activities for Your Children.
Signing your children up for sports, scouts, or other activities is another way to meet parents with like interests. However, transporting your children to and from their activities can be time consuming. If you make friends with other parents, you could also set up a carpool to help cut down on the travel time.

5. Be Active in Your Child's School.
Many parents choose to be more active in their child's PTA to make friends. This is another time consuming option. Becoming a member of the PTA obligates you to attend monthly meetings and assist in their festivals and fund raisers. Being a member of the PTA can prove to be challenging when studying for finals or writing papers on a deadline.

All of these options have their benefits and draw backs. I know not everyone will have the same results as I did, but I hope this information helps to save you some time and frustration. It's never an easy or fun process trying to meet new people, but it's worth it for you and your children. After all, a happy mom makes a happy family.