How to Get Me Time

The world of a parent is a busy place. It's part of the job description to put our needs on the back burner. When you are working, attending classes at Saint Leo University, and parenting it doesn't leave much time for anything else. We constantly have new obligations and emergencies that pop up and alter our plans. It's practically impossible to find quiet time and with our current economic climate it's typically difficult to find the funds to hire a care taker to give you the night off. Though if may feel impossible to make the time, it is very important that parents have personal time at least once a month. Having personal time allows a parent to recharge their battery and get some much needed refreshing. Here are a few ideas for creating personal time for you and your significant other.

Suggestion 1: The Trade-Off.
One option for creating personal time is to take turns watching the children without your spouse or significant other. Most couples are uncomfortable leaving their spouse at home. The truth is that this is one of the easiest ways to get out and have a break. Taking turns going out for the evening does not require a sitter and gives you the piece of mind that your children are properly cared for. Sometimes getting some space from your spouse is positive as well. By getting free time without your partner, you are able to explore your individuality. It may feel a bit strange the first time, but the break will be worth it.

Suggestion 2: Girls Night.
Having a break does not necessarily mean you have to leave your house. Sometimes it's just as rewarding to have a night in with friends. After your children are in bed, invite some friends over and veg-out. Having an adult pajama party is a great way to relax and have a bit of fun. This also gives your partner a chance to go out without sacrificing your entire evening. Break out the fashion magazines, a chick flick, and a bottle of wine and be prepared for some girl time. Sometimes all you really need are your friends and adult conversation to feel back to normal.

Suggestion 3: Home Spa.
Going to a spa and relaxing doesn't necessarily mean you need to leave your home. One of my favorite ways to unwind is a home spa day. We all love to pamper ourselves, but going to a spa is expensive and requires a great deal of time. Why not turn your bathroom in to an oasis of calming energy. There are many spa treatment you can purchase at any department or drug store. Try giving your self a facial and listen to some tunes in the bubble bath. It will do wonders for your stress level and your skin.

Suggestion 4: Group Sleep Overs.
Having a night out with the girls is great, but now and then you are going to want to spend quality time with your partner. "Group Sleep Overs" are a great way to find time for a little romance without breaking the bank. Once you have a group of friends that you feel comfortable watching your children, you can have group sleep overs for your children. One night per weekend (or whatever fits everyone's schedules) one mother will host a sleepover in their home for all the children in the group. This will allow the other parents to have a night free of children. Next weekend another mother will watch the children and continue the cycle until all friends have hosted. The children will have a blast and all parent's get a night out.

Suggestion 5: Grandma and Grandpa were parents once too.
For most parents it's hard to ask for help. Grandparents are a great option when you need a break. If you're lucky enough to live close to your parents utilize this opportunity. The fact is, they were parents once too and they know what it's like to need a break.

Suggestion 6: Get Out Doors.
It's not always possible to get alone time. Getting outside and exercising is a great way to get the recharge you need while still caring for your children. My favorite way to freshen up with my children is to take a walk with my iPod. I pile my children in the stroller, put in my ear buds, and just start walking. The exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel more at peace and up beat. Not to mention, it won't hurt your waste line to burn a few calories.

Being a parent is never going to be easy, but with a little R and R it can be a bit easier to handle. One important thing to keep in mind is that a happy and relaxed parent creates happy and relaxed children. By giving yourself a chance to recharge you are creating a more zen atmosphere in your home. Don't forget to take care of yourself. You and your family deserve the best you that you can be.

Planning A Kid's Party on a Budget

Birthdays are an exciting time for parents and children alike. We would love to give our children the most   exceptional day possible. Most parents have a budget for their parties and it's easy to feel cheap when your child's expectations are bigger than your budget. There are many ways to cut cost without cutting quality. Here are a few tips for getting the most out of your party budget.

Tip 1: Check the Dollar Store First.

 Dollar stores are a great place to find party supplies. Many parents feel compelled to provide goody bags to their guest. You can buy goody bag items as well as table clothes, plates, cups, and silver wear for a dollar a pack. There are many decorations that can be bought for the bare minimum at a dollar store. Most dollar stores, such as the Dollar Tree, also carry helium balloons.  

Tip 2: Look For A Group Rate.

Planning a party can be time consuming. Sometimes planning for a party at an establishment like Chuck E Cheese's can be an easy and financially beneficial option. Most child oriented entertainment companies offer group rates. When working with Chuck E Cheese they offer various packages that will fit most budgets. These packages typically include plates, decorations, snacks, and games. They also offer piece of mind in the fact that you are not responsible for cleaning or setting up the party.

Tip 3: Look for Coupons.

Most people think of grocery shopping when they hear the word coupon. The truth is almost every restaurant and entertainment service offers coupons. The internet is a great source of money saving offers. It never hurts to do a little digging. Most coupons can also be combined with group rates.

Tip 4: Everybody Loves Cupcakes.

A professionally made cake can be a pricey addition to a party. Homemade cupcakes are a great alternative to the traditional whole cake. Cupcakes also help to prevent the spread of germs from child to child. When your child is blowing out the candles on a traditional cake they could be exposing their guests to germs. When blowing out the candles on a cupcake, they would only be blowing on their own food. 

Tip 5: Kids Love the Park.

Having a party at a park can be a lovely affair. Children love to play on playgrounds. Having a party in a park is typically very cheap to free. Choosing a park for your party venue can be a fantastic alternative.

Tip 6: Skip the Meal.

A great way to save a little cash is to plan to not offer a meal. Try offering snack foods instead of pizza or hot dogs. Most parties that serve a meal are a waste of money. Most guest eat before they arrive whether you are offering food or not. 

A birthday is an exciting time for everyone. It's even more exciting when you are able to give your child a party to be proud of. When you are a savvy spender, you can exceed their expectations. With a little knowledge and the internet, you can be super-mom. 

Taking Your Children to the Movies. What Age is the Right Age?

Children love to watch movies. Many of my fondest childhood memories are with my parent in a theater watching the new Disney movies. When you have the time off from your busy school schedule or accounting career, you really want to do something fun that you know your kids will remember. The only problem is that no one wants to the be the parent in the back with the unruly child. What age is the right age for their first real movie experience?

I have had many friends that tried to attend a movie with their kids and it scarred them for years. It's hard to know if your children are ready to sit still and enjoy a cinematic experience, but here are a few clues to help determine their readiness.

1. Will your child watch an entire movie at home. If a child will not watch a movie at home, they will be driving you crazy. Movie theaters are full of other people to investigate. Until you child can give a movie at home their full attention, you might want to wait on taking them out.

2. Is your child vocal during movies at home. If you child is excited and vocal during movies at home, they will be loud at the movies as well. Being that silence is a virtue in a theater, you might want to work with your child on not talking at home before trying the theater.

3. Is your child comfortable around strangers. Most kids are not concerned by strangers, but there are a few that are caught off guard by unfamiliar faces. For instance, my younger son saw a man in a restaurant that frightened him for some reason. He proceeded to scream until the man was no longer in sight. Though my son is an extreme  case, it is possible that other people in the room may cause a child to be uncomfortable.

In most cases, children are able to watch a movie contently in public at around three years of age. Of course, it doesn't hurt to bribe them a bit with concessions. Another factor is your personal sensitivity to distractions in a theater. If you are concerned how your child will fair, try attending a daytime showing of a children's film. They are usually less crowded and full of other sympathetic parents. If your first movies isn't a home run, be patient with your child. They're nervous too. Hopefully soon, your family will be enjoying many bonding moments over popcorn and a great movie.

Television and Our Children

Our children are our world. We want to do what is best for them every chance we get. It's very hard in our ever changing world to understand how the increase in technology is affecting them. Most current parents grew up watching television. Allowing your children to watch Sponge Bob Square-pants while you finish up your application for a nursing scholarship is a harmless decision. The question is how long is too long for your children to be entertained by Nickolodeon or web browsing and what affects does television watching have them?

Now a days it is a common occurrence for a child to arrive home and sit on their coach watching show after show until dinner time. Most families will not eat a meal without the television on. Studies have suggested that children over three be allowed to watch no more than 3 hours of television per day. Children under two should be prohibited from watching. The average child watches an excess of four hours of programming per day. I know that I have been guilty of using the television as a baby sitter once or twice when I have house work or special projects that need to be attended to.  The occasional lean on technology is of minimal concern, but what are the long term affects of TV watching on young people?

Many different scientific studies have been done on the possible affects of excessive television watching. Children's programming has becoming increasing educational. This influx in beneficial shows has lowered our guards in regard to all television. Many children's programs still display violence and sexual behavior. Children mimic what they watch. Though there has been no definitive data, many scientists believe that television could contribute to ADD. Another concern that behavioral scientists  have expressed is the amount of commercials that kids watch. On average, children watch more than 20,000 thirty second commercials per year. Many of these commercials are for beer, cigarettes, and junk food. Children are highly susceptible to suggestion. The main physical affects of television are linked to inactivity. By watching shows children are remaining indoors instead of getting up and playing sports or exercising. Inactive children are more likely to snack while entertaining themselves. This trend could lead to childhood obesity.

I'm in no way saying that television is evil. I personally enjoy sitting down with my children and watching a movie, or watching them learn their ABC's with Sesame Street. What I am trying to say is that like anything else in their lives, television should be moderated. As parents, it's our job to monitor our children's viewing. It's not easy to change our habits, but it doesn't have to be negative. Try encouraging your child to find a hobby or sport. A hobby can be both intellectually stimulating and fun. If you would like more information on moderating your child's television viewing the following link is excellent: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/managetv.htm.

Is It Okay to Allow Your Child to Sleep in Your Bed?

In our current society, both parents are almost required to work to support their family. Long gone are the years when a father could work one full time job and support a family of five. It's very difficult in our busy lives to spend enough time with our children. It's easy to allow our work schedule and paralegal certification classes to interfere with our family time. In our attempts to spend that much needed quality time, it's easy to allow our children to cuddle and sleep in bed with us. Now I'm not talking about the occasional nightmare, I mean allowing your children in your bed at least once a week. What are the benefits or consequences of this type of interaction? Is this time harming or helping your child?

Allowing your children to sleep in the bed with you has many benefits. In most cases children have their own beds but occasionally sleep with their parents. We often use this time as a means of bonding. When children are infants we often allow them in our beds to give them the skin to skin contact that babies crave. The truth is, as humans grow they continue to need that contact. With our more hectic lives we often loose sight of that need. We think that bathing our children, eating dinner together, or watching a favor television show together serves as this bonding time. The truth is no interaction or activity can replace good old fashion cuddling. Children need to cuddle for emotional reassurance. Physical love is a concept that we all crave. We want the hug and snuggle that tells us we are cared for. Our children need it more than adults. By allowing your child in your bed you are giving them a night of one on one contact.

On the other hand allowing your child to sleep with you too frequently can be detrimental. Children who sleep with their parents more than once a week are more likely to develop separation anxiety. Children must learn to sleep alone in their own rooms. As they grow older, kids will be required to spend more time alone. Introducing a child to their own bed and room aids in this development. Humans are naturally inclined to crave contact. We must train ourselves to be secure in the absence of interaction. By allowing your child to sleep in their own space you are aiding them in that training. This will also intern boost their independence and self-esteem.

Allowing your children in your bed can also affect your love life. The more frequently your children sleep with you, the more interference you will have. My children slept with me as babies and then moved in to their own room. Even though they were infants and had no idea what mommy and daddy were doing, it made me uncomfortable to be intimate with them present. The lack of intimacy put a great deal of strain on my marriage. Now they try to sleep with us as often as possible, but for daddy's sake I try to soothe them and place them in their own beds most of the time. Our love lives typically suffer from over working and stress as well, so to add a child that is accustomed to sharing your bed to the mix could be a disaster.

The key to this conundrum is "Everything in moderation". Keep your situation fluid. It's okay when the kids are sick to let them sleep with you for three nights in a row. It's also okay to say no and walk them back across the hall, when you and your significant other would like to have some alone time. Try to keep the bed sharing to less than once a week to prevent a fuss from the little ones. Also by keeping the mommy's room sleep overs sporadic, they will remain special. You want to avoid allowing your child to get in the routine of sharing your bed. Balancing life and family is never easy, but having special bonding moments with your babies is a great way to remind yourself why you do it.  

Bringing Home a New Pet When You Have Children

I tend to write about my current experiences. I like to elaborate on current problems that I maybe having and discuss them so that my successes and failures may help others. Recently, I added a shih tzu puppy to my family. Being a pet person at heart I wanted to have a little furry pal to snuggle with while working or watching a movie. Having three children and a home to manage keeps me fairly busy as it is. If you are like me, and despite your busy case load from Florida Tech Online and your family, you still would like to add a four-legged friend to your household, then here is some advice for a smooth introduction.

Tip 1: Choose your pet wisely.
 This may seem like a no brainer, but it's easy to get caught up in the cute faces and needy eyes and forget what you are capable of handling. For instance, it's easy to fall in love with the gentle eyes of a Great Dane, but not easy to keep them in an apartment. Before pet hunting, make a list (both you and your partner) of desired traits. This will help keep you on track.

Tip 2: Be careful when adopting.
This maybe a controversial tip to some people, but with young children especially adopting an adult dog can be dangerous. If you are a single person, adopting is wonderful for you and the animal. When you have children, however, you can never be too careful. You have no way of knowing exactly what that dog has been subjected to. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Tip 3: Beware of breeders.
In many cases when adopting or purchasing a dog money is an issue. It's human nature to try and find a deal or just a reasonable price on everything including pets. The truth is you get what you pay for. There are many people out there irresponsibly breeding animals to make a buck. If at all possible go to the person's home and meet the parents. You can usually tell what kind of person you are dealing with just by seeing their home.

Tip 4: It's okay to say no.
In the event that you are adopting or purchasing from a home, never meet the person with the intention of taking that animal home. Never allow yourself to be pressured in to taking an animal home with you that you are not in love with. Caring for a pet is a life long commitment. It's okay to visit a pet and not take it home.


Tip 7: Never buy a pet as a present.
This tip main seem odd, but allow me to clarify. Buying a pet for a birthday present or Christmas present is not a good idea. If you would like to give a loved one a pet, I would recommend having them assist you in the adoption process. Owning a pet is a very personal commitment. You would not marry a person that you just met because they are cute. Holidays and birthdays are also very busy times and pets can be neglected. It's best to add a new addition when your home is calm and as uncomplicated as possible.


Tip 5: Introduce the animal slowly.
Once you've made your decision it's time to bring your new fur baby home and introduce them to your family. When dealing with children, it's best to introduce the animal gradually. Remember, this transition is going to be extremely stressful on your new pet. Be sure that you give them the space to calm down and be alone. It's easy during such an exciting time, to give your new animal too much attention.

Tip 6: Create a quiet area for your new pet.
It's important for your four-legged friend to feel secure. When dealing with a cat, allow them to find a quiet place under a piece of furniture or in a closet where they can retreat. When introducing a dog or puppy, a crate can be helpful.

Making the decision to add an animal to your family is exciting. It brings with it the possibility of a life long relationship with a new family member. Following these simple tips will make this transition easier, and more enjoyable. A pet is an important friend for your children and can help them learn responsibility. If they are old enough, allow them to help you in the decision making process as well as the training. This participation with strengthen the family bond.

A Cleaning Tip for Removing Nail Polish from Your Couch!

Ladies love nail polish. Weather you're a paralegal trying to look a bit more put together in the office, or a stay at home mother just looking to add a flair to your wardrobe. I have many different colors of nail polish in my home. And try as I might to keep them away from my children, they managed to find a lovely bottle of dark purple nail polish. Being that they are two and love to paint, my couch received a very lovely Jackson Pollock make-over. Needless to say I freaked out. I have a nice micro-fiber sectional that was now destroyed. I tried everything I could think of to fix it and believe it or not I was able to completely clean my couch. Here is how I managed to remove dark purple nail polish completely from my tan couch.

Step 1: Oxi-Clean
Use the Product Oxi-Clean with water to create a paste. Cover the entire affected area with the paste. Allow to sit until the paste becomes crunchy.

Step 2: Remove the excess Oxi-clean.
You don't want to wet the spot at this time. Just use a small broom or your hand to rub off the hard pieces of the oxi-clean that still remains.

Step 3: Nail Polish Remover.
Using a non acetone nail polish remover, gently apply it directly to the surface of the coach. Use a paper towel to blot away the color from the nail polish.

Step 4: Use a Spot shampooer to clean the area.
Using just clean water, rinse the remaining oxi-clean and nail polisher remover from the fabric. If a shampooer is not available, use a damp sponge and moisten the area and blot away the excess.

Once the process has been completed and your couch has dried, your cushions should look as good as new. I know it seems like an involved process, but it's easier than replacing a sofa. The Oxi-clean acts as a barrier, keeping the color from bleeding in to the fabric. It also prevents the nail polish remover from damaging the fabric.  I would not recommend using this process on leather. I hope my adventures with my children can help you in the future.